#9 Permission Granted – Let yourself Play

How many times have you been told to play nice?  This real talk episode is focused on giving you permission to access your creative power, to play naughty and explore the question: what do I *REALLY* want to create?

I’m Christel Arcucci, you’re listening to the Soul Purpose Podcast, the lightning path of embodied spiritual awakening with shadow and light integration. Quit people pleasing, create clear boundaries, reclaim power, and live your soul purpose legacy.

This podcast is informational and this episode is a very special embodied journey of sensual hypnosis with energetic healing, I intend to seduce you with my voice.

Yes, seduce you into a greater, deeper, more delicious experience of your body and your soul purpose. I will use sounding, deep breaths to help you feel and integrate the teachings into your body and mind.

When I was a little girl, I dreamt of being an artist and writer.

The dominant culture says that artists struggle and aren’t good with money.

I became a healing artist instead, so I could focus on building a service and education business with jewelry design as a “artistic passion project”.

I am blessed to make a living doing work aligned with soul purpose. I always wondered if I could make more room for the artist and writer in my business…

A wild idea during the heart of the global reset in 2020 bloomed into a secret business, and the first month I made $560 from my art.

I have launched hundreds of business ideas, some have been successful and some have failed. I’ll share my take on failure in an upcoming podcast episode. The “failed” biz ideas have cost me tens of thousands of dollars over the years and I will never stop believing in and trying inspired ideas.

I have publicly proclaimed I would publish several books and delayed the latest book publication date (with my real name) due to fire evacuation and an unexpected move.

One year ago today I took a crazy chance… I selected a pen name and let myself PLAY and try something wild, new, unexpected, creative and naughty.

My wild creative artist dreamer generated $26,000 in the first year in this “side business.” I know there’s lots of talk about how peeps have made “6 figures in my first 6 minutes in business,” ok I am exaggerating a little. I am delighted with this success!

There is so much power in not hiding who you are, yet I have found incredible freedom in not giving a f-ck about what anyone thinks and letting myself play, dream, create and explore.

It’s a *REALLY* stressful time in the world, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, afraid, confused, depressed, anxious, etc.

I invite you to take a crazy chance on your dream and do the f-cking creative-wild-artistic-and scary-thing. You can start small and in secret at first if that suits you.

A client messaged me today to let me know she received a $500 tip on top of her fee for a commissioned mural.

YES MORE PLEASE!

Sensual hypnosis to Awaken your Creative Power:

I invite you to make yourself very comfortable, allow your body to set up and whatever you’re sitting on. If you can lay down, that would be even better. Let your body settle and let your mind stay focused on my voice. Trusting my voice to guide you. Hmm. Yes. Guiding you feel your breath is moving without any effort.

Your breath is moving in and out without you even having to think about it. Breath, rising and falling breath, arising and falling. Your breath helping you feel more relaxed, more settled and more open.

I invite you to open your mouth and take a deep inhale in and exhale. Let it out with a sound or a sight or a naughty moan.

Going deeper. 

And deeper into a creative and relaxed state. 

Creative power lives inside of you. It is the power that is breathing your breath without any effort. No effort, just relaxation. 

You find yourself standing at the top of the steps, walking down a 7 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1.

Feeling so relax, standing in front of the crystal elevator, the doors slide open. Mm. Yes. And you step inside glittering gemstone buttons and you already know intuitively which one to select. 

And the doors are closed, sliding down, down, down. Going deeply into your creative power.

Moving past any layers of resistance, not entertaining any thoughts and letting them float away, like little butterfly, no need to hold on or catch them. There’s so much more beautiful and they’re fluttering way. Brightly colored wings leaving streaks in the sky. 

So relaxed, so open trusting yourself and this journey.

Listen to the podcast for the full journey.

Thank you for being here, it’s a pleasure to walk the soul purpose path with you. 

You’re listening to the soul purpose podcast, the lightning path of embodied spiritual awakening with shadow and light integration. Quit people pleasing, create clear boundaries, reclaim power, and live your soul purpose legacy.

You can access the Free Soul Success Journal & meditation and all episodes of the podcast and all the goodies mentioned in this episode at soulpurposepodcast.com/9

If you are interested in exploring soul purpose mentorship options with me visit soulpurposepath.com to fill out an application.

I believe in you and the magic power of your soul. 

For more revolutionary teachings and tools please follow on your favorite podcast app or visit soulpurposepodcast.com. I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.

I am sending you so much love!

#8 Love the Heart of Fear – Shadow Integration

Let’s play in the deep end with a shadow integration practice called: Love the Heart of Fear. What does the heart of fear mean? Is it possible to love fear? 

I’m Christel Arcucci, you’re listening to the Soul Purpose Podcast, the lightning path of embodied spiritual awakening with shadow and light integration. Quit people pleasing, create healthy boundaries, reclaim power, and live your soul purpose legacy.

You may have noticed that episode 8 is weeks late. This episode is going to start with the real life challenges I am facing instead of the past episodes that focused on core elements of what I teach my clients. 

The plan for episode 8 was, “Wounding or Wisdom – How to Heal your Intuitive Body.”

On a Tuesday a few weeks ago a FB live I created 4 years ago popped up in my FB memories “Loving the Heart of Fear.”
 
I watched it, impressed this lady named Christel Arcucci dropped some wisdom bombs about shadow work and transformation. 😉 I had the audio transcribed as inspiration for a future episode of the podcast.
 
Wednesday (the next day) a wildfire starts dangerously close to my home in Northern California. As soon as I hear about the fire, I check how close is it to my home and drive home, hoping I will still be able to collect my valuables and evacuate. I know the roads may already be closed…I’m driving towards a wildfire. The fire clouds and smoke are ENORMOUS AND TERRIFYING. 

2016 the wildfires in California started impacting my friends, places I love and communities *VERY* near me. In late summer of 2020 after 4 years of this intense stress combined with dangerous air quality and the pandemic felt like hell. I swore to myself I wouldn’t and couldn’t stay through another fire season in California. 

When I arrive home on I was already in fight or flight stress response. I’m grateful I made it home before the roads closed or the fire reached my home yet feeling overwhelmed about what to take, where to go or what to do next.

The FB video on Tuesday had given me a transmission of love for the fear that is now coursing through my heart and flooding my system with stress hormones. Reminder to pay attention to all the signs and resources you are offered to you even if they don’t make sense in the moment.

Now you see why this episode is focused on loving the heart of your fear and why I am weeks late in delivering this. In the last 5 weeks there have been 3 wildfires that threatened my home.

As you know I get off on befriending my shadows, loving my shame, loving my fear, and getting in there and being with those parts that I wish didn’t exist. It would be easier if life was just unicorns, rainbows and wildflowers right? 

Earth School is the shadow integration masters program that you may have realized you signed up for yet cannot escape…. So let’s make this wild ride more enjoyable.

All kinds of protection mechanisms and survival strategies keep you from looking at your fears, help you avoid feeling pain sadness, grief, shame even desire or sexual arousal. 

Your brain is wired to survive. To try to keep you away from what you fear in order to keep you safe in what is known and familiar.

Your journey of awakening who you are and your purpose is rooted in being able to embrace your full human experience and your ability to accept and even love yourself.

You can say all day, “I love myself I love myself I love myself I love myself.”

And there’s a part of your brain saying, “Yeah, but what about the horrible thing you did. What about that like horrible thing you said? What about swearing at the person that didn’t use their turn signal? Or what about when you were five? You are bad and wrong so you can’t LOVE THAT!”

It’s easy to love the pretty parts of yourself, easier anyway.

It’s harder to love the undesirable things about yourself, to love the bad things that you’ve said and done. 

Dominant culture decides what is good or bad, right or wrong, acceptable or forbidden.

I’m exploring embracing my shadow, befriending the skeletons in my closet, rather than trying to pretend they’re not there, I invite them for tea. 

It takes an enormous amount of courage to acknowledge and accept your shadow, let’s be real. 

Shadow integration isn’t a casual thing you take up one day and it’s all grand and rosy with your skeletons carefully coming down out of the closet and sit at the table with you, they will likely throw shit and will likely be really mean at first. 

So… is loving the heart of fear possible and why am I talking about it?

It’s an important part of your journey of healing and a central way to love those horrible parts of yourself.

This shadow integration practice doesn’t condone bad behavior or abuse from yourself or anyone else, but it is about loving the wounded parts of yourself and the collective. When you can do this inside yourself you’ll be better able to engage with the shadow aspects of others. 

The heart is the softest most vulnerable, innocent and tender core element of everyone. When you turn into that truth it’s easier to imagine the possibility of loving the heart of anything that you most want to avoid or fear.

Start this practice by being willing to admit and be with your fear, doubt, shame, sadness, grief, addiction, victim, perpetrator, rescues etc.

All the parts of yourself that you wish didn’t exist and also the behaviors and traits which trigger you in others.

Acknowledge the shadows exists and be with them. “I see you”

Invite them into your journaling practice, meditation or mindful movement practice rather than pushing them away. “I feel you.”

The next level is to love your shadows. 

Love the heart of your fear.

Love the heart of your deepest, darkest, scariest parts…the ones that you if could, you would throw them out of the universe. “I love you.”

I’ve discovered the heart of fear is where so much power lives. I will even go so far as to say unlimited power lives.

Tap into that power to be more aligned, on purpose and connected to who you are and what you’re really here to do.

The more that you run from fear, the more you run from being yourself. Is that’s a game you want to  play? 

Playing hide and seek with the infinite power of your soul is why you decided to become human, it’s so fun! 

This is demonstrated in the 5 Acts (or Powers) of Shiva. The ability to create, maintain, destroy, conceal and reveal.

The game of playing hide and seek with each other and yourself is a fun game when you’re young… do you still the divine play now? Especially with the intensity of what’s happening in 2021 for example? 

Although the way that adults most often play hide and seek is unconscious and full of shadow material most often we don’t even realize what and who you are hiding from.

Lila is a Sanskrit word that means Divine Play and is a powerful tool to help remind you of the conscious game of hide and seek that you decided to become human and “forget” that you are infinite intelligence.

Using your life force energy to hide who you really are and what you think is exhausting and painful, and can lead to illness, depression, anxiety and suppressed immune function.

I invite you today, at whatever level you’re ready is to turn towards your fear. 

Name fear.

Be with fear. 

Befriend fear. 

Love the heart of fear.

Look fear in the eye and really be with what is there. Be willing to stay in the intensity and see what opens for you.

Im my practice of loving the heart of fear I like to practice this while eye gazing in the mirror. After a few breaths to drop in, it doesn’t take long before there’s a massive shift. As I’m able to feel the resistance to fear, the fear softens and opens. The resistance to feeling fear which is most often a desire to control in order to feel safe.  

Resistance, the desire to push away or get away from takes so much energy. 

With the practice of simply being with fear, being with doubts, demons, shadows or skeletons unlocks so many resources and power. 

Loving the heart of what you what to avoid or destroy changes everything and changes it quickly. 

Where are you in your journey of loving your fear, shadow and what you wish didn’t exist within you, others or the collective? 

Be willing to be with your fear, love the heart of that what scares you most.  

Love the heart of the most horrible things you’ve done in your life, love the horrible thoughts and you learn to love life itself, all of it.

I still often want life to be easy, playful, abundant and full of all my favorite things and the reality is that life on earth is the expression of spectrum of all possibilities and experiences.

My practice is anchoring myself in the moment with breath, mindfulness, and movement practices and  then remember the divine play of life on earth, that humanity is actively co-creating this experience.

Love your shadow, it liberates you from struggling again what is and trying to control the uncontrollable.

Your shadows will act out when you try to get rid of them or repress them… the shadow will create trouble. 

Love your shadows, shame, anger, rage, sadness as much as you can. 

Be willing to turn towards, look in the eyes of the parts of yourself that you wish weren’t there, and love all parts of yourself. When you’re able to do that, then things will change in the outer world. 

It’s so easy to run from the hard and ugly stuff. Oh, just keep yourself busy and do to anything to avoid looking at or being with fear. 

Turn towards fear. 

Be with anger.

Embrace sadness.

Sit with rage.

Love the heart of fear.

To the healing that is possible and the transformation that is available… love your heart, and love what you fear most. 

Thank you for being here, it’s a pleasure to walk the soul purpose path with you. 

You’re listening to the soul purpose podcast, the lightning path of embodied spiritual awakening with shadow and light integration. Quit people-pleasing reclaim power and create your soul purpose legacy.

You can access the Free Soul Success Journal & meditation and all episodes of the podcast and all the goodies mentioned in this episode at soulpurposepodcast.com/8

I believe in you and the magic power of your soul. 

For more revolutionary teachings and tools please follow on your favorite podcast app or visit soulpurposepodcast.com. I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.

I am sending you so much love!

#7 Navigate Conflict and Create Connection

Are you creating connection or separation in your life and relationships? How can you choose to respond instead of be hijacked by a stress response or trauma pattern?

I’m Christel Arcucci, you’re listening to the Soul Purpose Podcast, the lightning path of embodied spiritual awakening with shadow and light integration. Quit people pleasing, reclaim power, and create your soul purpose legacy.

I am recording this episode in July 2021 it’s an incredibly intense time in human history with so many people experiencing extreme stress and daily challenges.

Two of the greatest concerns is the lack of recognition and support for a population that is working with dysregulated nervous system and the lack of ability to have meaningful discourse on charged topics. I believe the lack of ability to navigate conflicts is because of the first issue that and most people don’t know what this means to have a dysregulated nervous system and how to resolve it.

This amplifies the ‘power over’ dysfunction and limits the chances of coming into ‘power with’ a framework, I have talked about power over vs power with in almost every episode so far.

The basic idea of power with is we’re in this together. And how can we come to a solution rather than I’m going to try to overpower you or bully you into doing what I want.

So…. how can we as a collective come into balance even in a stressed state to be able to respond instead of react?

Today’s topic applies to every relationship in your life no matter what is happening in the world yet with the intensity of what is happening in the world it’s even more important to learn to self-regulate, navigate conflict skillfully and work together to create win-win solutions.

In the present time these topic are important and essential to humanities survival and not easy to implement.

Are you consciously choosing to create connection or separation? Including on social media

There are times that creating separation also called clear and healthy boundaries is the best choice if you’re in an unsafe place or unhealthy relationship.

The main focus of this episode is to be able to CHOOSE TO RESPOND instead of react from a stress response or trauma pattern.

The results of dysfunctional and harmful communication that is rooted in:

us against them
right or wrong
truth or lies
black or white
With us or against us

Either or thinking instead of ‘both and.’

Can you move into a state of ‘yes and’?

Notice, what happens in your nervous system the I ask that question?

There may be some topics that feel so charged for you that you can’t even, won’t even consider it.

And I ask you to take gentle breaths and be willing to explore this topic more deeply.

This is fueling the divide and remember that “divide and conquer” is a strategy of war that works… so who are you really fighting against?

Let’s work on the concept to agree to disagree, for some this idea is so threatening right now yet I believe not being willing or able to self-regulate is rooted in trauma and not the present moment circumstances.

You can have strong thoughts, options and beliefs about your position AND have a reasonable discussion about differences when you have two or more regulated nervous systems to engage.

Either or thinking is often the result of deeply held conditioning and or trauma.

I think humanity as a species is in a collective crisis and trauma response and my focus with this episode is to create connection, curiosity and “yes and” opportunities through our differences. I spoke how to utilize the improv practice of “yes and” as a shadow integration tool in ep 3 The Shadow side of Gratitude Practice.

I am not going to talk about specifics or my perspective or position on any of the HOT TOPICS because the focus is on creating connection even with different opinions, stress management, shadow work, integrating trauma and the power to choose by working with a ‘power with’ framework.

Are you creating connection or are you creating separation?

Humanity is at a tipping point and the question is will humanity come together and make it through this or fight, disagree and expedite the collapse of human civilization?… again.

Let’s talk about a powerful shadow work practice before going further…..Can you go to the mirror right now look into your own eyes and say, “I am a ________” fill in the blank of the topic you are most adamantly opposed to right now. Can you say I have the capacity to be and do that which I most want to avoid or hate most about humans?

I AM THAT.

BOOM. If you can do that and maintain a neutral nervous system you stop playing this show right now. If not keep listening and you’ll get closer to integrating the hardest and ugliest aspects of free will.
Free will gives us the choice and ability to do the most amazing and horrible things.

Let’s try an example. I talk about VPR victim-perpetrator-rescuer on the show.

Can you look into your own eyes in the mirror and say, “I am a perpetrator.” Or “I am a victim.” Or “I am a rescuer.”

Which one is the hardest for you to say. Which one is the easiest for you? Which one lands in the middle?

For me, the easiest one to say, and for most people will be, I am the rescuer.

And the hardest one for me to say is not, I am a perpetrator. The hardest one for me to say is I am a victim. There’s the most internal charge and resistance for, for me personally, since I don’t want to admit that I don’t want to be that. So, how does that land for you?

Of those examples its hardest for me to say, “I am a victim.” There is the most internal charge and resistance for me since I don’t want to admit that.

You may feel a lot of intense emotions with this practice you will be able to say it from a neutral perspective and little to no emotional charge.

Why is that?

Because that helps you to see that you can be any of those. Yet you are in a place of a regulated, nervous system, which allows you to choose to be the victim, the perpetrator, or the rescuer or not to be that is the whole point.

I also encourage you to do this practice with the hot topics you are feeling about the state of humanity today.

Shadow work is the ability to integrate and embrace ALL aspects of your shadow and light. The incredible and horrible. Free will gives you the creative power and opportunity to be a serial killer or a saint and anything and everything in between being able to regulate your nervous system is what gives you the power to choose who you want to be, how you want to show up and how you want to utilize the tools of connection and separation.

Good people generally don’t like considering the shadow aspects of what is possible to do as a human yet being willing to embrace this reality and work together in personal and collective shadow and trauma integration is a core part of healing humanity.

It’s ideal that you work with basic tools of understanding how to communicate when your nervous system is regulated and how to recognize your own nervous system being dysregulated or noticing it in somebody when you’re trying to communicate with. Practice coming back into a state of co-regulation, which simply means that you and the other person that you’re communicating with are in a state of rest and digest and not fight or flight.

If you are in a fight or flight stress response those are the only choices your brain registers in order to stay safe and survive and not about connection.

Fight or flight only cares about your survival and not about connection.

If you are in a fight stress response you will make the other person wrong, attack, defend name call etc

Your autonomic nervous system (ANS) controls the subconscious operation of your nervous system with two primary branches.

Sympathetic nervous system controls the fight or flight response

Parasympathetic nervous system controls your ability to rest and digest.

In the modern world most of the time the fight or flight response is set off in situations that are not life or death. You practice in the moment when you feel extreme stress is to ask yourself is this a life or death situation?

When the answer is no, take a beat, take a breath and anchor yourself in the present moment. Listen to Ep 5: Create the Future with a One Breath Meditation for more support with this.

Bring your system back into a rest and digest state where you can have a conversation with whoever you’re in the disagreement with

Step One: Self Regulate
1. Take a gentle breath
2. Notice sensations you are experiencing to connect with your physical body
3. Anchor your attention in present time to make sure that you are only dealing with the stress of the moment
4. Listening to your thoughts to notice how your system wants to react instead of respond
5. Breathe and stay in the present moment.

Step Two: Recognize the DAMN BS
1. Defend
2. Attack
3. Make wrong
4. Name call
5. Blame
6. Shame

All of these fight responses create more stress, separation and disconnection.

So then you go back to step one, anchoring yourself in your body. Breathing deeply notice sensations, even communicate with the person you’re talking to. I’m noticing I’m feeling stressed right now. I need to take a moment.

Step Three: Choose to respond
1. Be curious about what is possible
2. Dedicate yourself to creating connection instead of separation.
3. Agree to disagree
4. Take a breath regulate your stress system so then you can choose to respond can you learn to agree to disagree on any topic to be Curious

Be committed to looking for that place that you connect.
Be willing to look for your shared humanity.
go beyond separation to find the connection of our humanity

On a fundamental level I believe all people to have a good life for themselves and those around them.

Yet this is an epic time in history of extreme separation and destruction learn to self-regulate and then co-regulate with others and reclaim the ability to have meaningful discourse about topics we disagree about.

Ultimately I think all want to thrive, that desire may be expressed in different ways but essential seeking love and connection, shelter, food and purpose.

Are you willing to look beyond the external expressions?
they worship this God and don’t believe in god.
they want this thing to happen and I want something else to happen
they want this person to be elected and I want that person to be elected
They believe in this cause and I don’t

Can you tap into shared Humanity of living on the same planet and completely dependent upon the health of this Planet to survive?

Then move into a state of creating greater love and connection and having conversations about the things that we disagree about instead of attacking, defending, name calling… etc

Are you able to move out of stress response, be curious, compassionate and have conversations that have the potential of creating change?

This is not easy yet this is the most important practice to resolve conflicts, integrate trauma patterns, and create love and connection.

I am opposed to fueling the fire of division and separation, I believe we’re in this together. Do you want to work together to create a better world for everyone?

I’d like to see us learn to create an environment where we can have different beliefs and different perspectives yet have a fundamental core of commitment to love and connection that is where we move into human awakening and creating heaven on earth and integrating the collective shadow.

Thank you for being here, it’s a pleasure to walk the soul purpose path with you.

You’re listening to the soul purpose podcast, the lightning path of embodied spiritual awakening with shadow and light integration. Quit people-pleasing reclaim power and create your soul purpose legacy.

You can access the Free Soul Success Journal & meditation and all episodes of the podcast and all the goodies mentioned in this episode at soulpurposepractice.com

I believe in you and the magic power of your soul.

For more revolutionary teachings and tools please follow on your favorite podcast app or visit soulpurposepodcast.com. I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.

I am sending you so much love!

#6 Inner Child Healing & the Wounded Healer

What can you do if your inner child easily gets overwhelmed and shuts down by the demands of your adult life? And how working with the inner wounded healer support rapid transform o childhood trauma?

I’m Christel Arcucci, you’re listening to the Soul Purpose Podcast, the lightning path of embodied spiritual awakening with shadow and light integration. Quit people pleasing, reclaim power, and create your soul purpose legacy.

As I am preparing this podcast, I feel the heaviness of this topic since it includes a discussion of childhood issues included unmet needs, family dysfunction, parenting styles, trauma, abandonment and abuse patterns. While I don’t include specific examples, the residual impact of trauma that has not been integrated is discussed which is a GOLD mine that can unlock self-love, self-understanding, self-honoring, self-respect and embracing the inner child issues wounds in order to reclaim innocence, play, curiosity, imagination and creativity.

Inner child healing happens in stages as you learn to re-parent your inner child which and take on the roles of the divine mother and divine father to yourself and your inner child no matter what your gender is, finding this dynamic integrated balance of masculine and feminine essence is a core part of healing.

Stage one of inner child re-parenting is establishing trust and make a commitment from your adult self to your inner child, that you will not ignore or neglect your inner child. If you had a challenging childhood I would encourage you to go further by committing to not abuse or abandon your inner child.

Your brain and nervous systems get hard wired in the first 6 years of your life and the treatment you received from your parents or caregivers becomes the baseline for how you let yourself be treated and how you treat yourself. The good news is the brain and nervous can be rewired with conscious and consistent practice, attention, and loving care.

If you’re new to inner child work rebuilding trust can take a significant amount of time because often in your adult life you’ve shoved your inner child into a closet or the basement. Perhaps you’ve even thought, “I’m an adult I need to carry on, that was my childhood and now I’m over that and I need to move on.”

The lack of integration or a position of denial reinforces stress or trauma patterns that were happening in your childhood which may include abuse, abandonment and neglect.

Even if you grew up in a healthy environment that did not have abuse or abandonment, things that happen in even a healthy childhood, can create stress patterns in your consciousness, which then get reinforced and played out in your life as an adult.

Yes, talking about abandonment and abuse is intense and those experiences are, yet many people have unresolved stress patterns or negative habit loops that come from experience childhood that felt traumatic to the child yet would not be considered abuse/abandonment.

Like being left to cry alone in the crib as a baby in order to learn to self-soothe even before you are psychologically capable of doing so or being told no. These experiences are not necessarily abuse and abandonment yet can create an imprint in the psyche that love equals being left or made to feel bad/wrong or unworthy of attention or love.

And as a human being, especially as a child, touch kindness care and love are the foundation of what creates a secure attachment and a deep understanding of what love really is for some of us. We have to reset those patterns and create them in our adult lives. That is the foundation of this work here.

Stage two is unconditional love and learning to accept, acknowledge, appreciate and love all aspects of the inner child the wonderful and wounded parts. This allows you to reclaim innocence, play, creativity and curiosity that most people of had squashed during your childhood.

Showing up in an unconditionally loving way with your inner child and keep in mind unconditional love IS NOT giving the inner child whatever it wants.

The foundational piece of learning to unconditionally love your inner child is the first step and for your inner child to trust that you will unconditionally love them and not abuse or abandon them is the foundation that needs to happen before anything else happens.

This mean being committed to not ignore or neglect your feeling, thoughts, emotions wounds, traumas as well as your dreams, time to play, create and rest.

Stage three begins when your inner child trusts you, you are practicing unconditional love and next you need to create healthy boundaries. This stage is where the wounded healer comes in, because many swing to the opposite side because needs were not met in childhood the wounded healer can swoop in to “save the day” and overcompensate for the unmet needs from the primary care givers. The wounded healer will them bend over backwards to give the inner child anything and everything it wants which will not create healing.

It just cultivates a feeling of being able to take advantage of and not needing to respect others

Approach re-parenting as if you were to parenting a real child. Often people think that inner child work is like you give the inner child whatever it wants, it doesn’t want to work, you don’t work. The inner child doesn’t want to do some activity so you don’t do that activity or you let them sabotage any plans for it’s whims.

And the challenge with that is like letting an unhappy five year old run your life and say “I want doughnuts for dinner, or drive you car even though I am not old enough, talk to your boss because I am pissed off or tell your partner to fuck off” and you say, okay, because that’s what the inner child wants = bad idea!

The wounded healer plays the “rescuer” and the inner child plays the “victim” while the parents/care givers are the “perpetrator”. I spoke about the trauma triangle in ep 1. VPR or victim, perpetrator, rescuer is a “power over” framework that will not support the inner child or the wounded healer to reclaim power and operate in a ‘power with” framework which is where deep healing and integration is possible.

Your job as a healthy parent aka empowered healer is saying no with kindness and create healthy boundaries for the child this is why I call it Inner Child Re-parenting and not just Inner Child work.

One of the most important teachings in caring for the inner child or a real child is creating healthy boundaries. You will listen, hear, see, love the child and what they want, but also teach them to receive a no and respect it, learn what is healthy, what is possible, and make choices from a foundation that balances present moment enjoyment with long term positive outcomes so that the inner child isn’t running and ruining your life.

As the parent you listen if a child is afraid, excited, overwhelmed, curious, sad, confused, etc.

Open hearted listening is essential to rebuild trust. Listen yet you don’t let the inner child run your life which leads to the wounded child and wounded healer down spiral.

The advantage to inner child re-parenting unlike raising a real child is you can come back later, send the child off on an imaginary adventure with a dragon or to play with a unicorn while you work.

You can have a conversation inside your mind and put things on hold while you’re attending to whatever activity is happening.

When Inner child wants your attention you say, “I hear you. What can I do to support you to feeling safe while I work or get things done?

Listen to your inner child and create healthy boundaries, then your life will transform quickly because the inner child trusts you to show up and take care of them, yet not let them take advantage of you so they will respect you, your authority and your guidance.

The process of reparenting your inner child never ends even if you had amazing parents and a dreamy childhood.

The focus is present moment power where the abuse and abandonment patterns have been cleared on a deep level, so that the inner child gets to be what it’s meant to be, which you may not have gotten in your childhood, the innocent, creative, curious playful part of you.

Healing so there is room for imagination, taking risks and believing anything is possible in your life are the results of this inner child re-parenting work.

This comes from the solid foundation of trust, love and boundaries because your inner child always knows that you’re going to be there and to take care of them. And at the same time, if they throw a temper tantrum, your life doesn’t get derailed because of it. The inner child is not running the show.

The integrated adult aka the empowered healer is running the show. Yet that first two stages are important to distinguish from the third stage where it’s about creating healthy boundaries.

Learn to communicate with your inner child, why something is happening, and also letting them know like, okay, we’re going to get our work done, and then we’re going to play afterwards. You know, just like you would with a real child is the child doesn’t get to run the show.

Be extra mindful about how you speak to the inner child abusive self-talk can be VERY COMMON if you had a critical or abusive parent or caregiver. If you wouldn’t say it to a REAL CHILD adjust what you are saying to match how you treat others and how you want to treat yourself.

The forth stage is when the adult part learns to admit, apologize and cleaning things up when you make a mistake.

This involves making a commitment to not abandon or abuse yourself and if you do to take accountability, apologize and commit to doing better when you make a mistake.

After many years of doing this practice my inner child trusts me and knows that if and when I mess up more like when, when I mess up, she knows that I will take accountability, and that I will apologize and I will make it right. Instead of reinforcing the abuse or abandonment pattern that happened in my childhood.

I started doing inner child work when I was 12 and my dad got sober. I was really lucky to have his support, accountability and love. I have been estranged from my mother since I was 14 and she DOES NOT and has not showed up in any helpful or meaningful way to clear the past.

I’ve had both experiences and I can say with certainty that you CAN heal the deep wounds from childhood while the parent that created the wounds does not even acknowledge the abuse or abandonment that occurred.

The empowered healer and integrated adult part of you is the one that creates the safe space for freedom for a play for in essence, taking these teachings into practice becomes an ongoing practice in your everyday life where. You can have a dialogue with your inner child either out loud while using touch as a way of reassuring your physical body and your inner child that you are present that you hear them.

You can do this simply by placing your hands on your body and saying, I hear you. I see you. I feel you. I love you.

You can do this while placing your hands on your body, on your belly on your heart, giving yourself a hug.

You can dialogue with your inner child as the empowered healer speaking to the inner child, either in your mind or out loud, as well as using reassuring touch, to deepen the work that you’re doing of establishing trust, unconditional love, creating healthy boundaries, taking accountability for any mistakes you make.

Being in relationship with your inner child so that they trust you to be in charge of your life, to know what’s best for them, which gets disrupted in childhood or in traumatic life events.

Being with the needs of the wounded inner child creates the opportunity for you to be present with and meet the needs in real time. In present time of unmet needs from your childhood is a deeply healing and helps to reclaim power in the present moment.

The dynamic relationship inner child and empowered healer helps you reclaim your power in the present moment by hearing your inner child by listening to their fears, their concerns, their sadness, yet them also trusting you to know what’s best when it comes to leading your adult life now.

The four stages of Inner Child Re-Parenting and becoming and Empowered Healer, it’s important to know where you are and know that you need to attend to all of them to create an on-going healthy relationship with your inner child and empowered healer.

Are you building trust?

Are you committed to unconditional love?

Are you establishing and maintaining clear boundaries?

Are you able to admit mistakes and clean them up?

These four stages will support you in reclaiming innocence, play, curiosity, creativity and integrate shadow aspects of your childhood and any residual dysfunction in how you speak to and treat yourself.

There’s a link to many additional resources the show notes: Build Trust with your Inner Child Audio, A Guided Meditation & Self-Love Healing Journey, and Self-talk and Unconditional Love Audio. www.SoulPurposePodcast.com/6

The ‘power with’ framework can be deeply healing for the relationship with yourself and everyone else in your life in order to reclaim power from the past and live and love in the present as you create a loving future.

You may have noticed I have not mentioned your parents, partners or human children at all so far…. and for good reason.

Doing the inner reset work and learning to self-regulate and be with ALL ASPECTS of your light and shadow helps ground you in your unmet emotional needs and the core wounds and conflicts you would like to try to resolve with your parents, children or your partner.

The reason is if you can not done the work to trust, love, create boundaries , clean up mistakes with yourself first you will continue to act out the dysfunctional dynamics from your childhood.

You cannot expect anyone else to trust you, love you unconditionally, respect your boundaries and navigate conflicts if you don’t already do this with yourself.

Note on the reality of trust, unconditional love, respect and navigating conflicts with other humans especially the ones closest to you, your parents, children and intimate partners… about to drop a bomb.

Deep breath:

HUMAN ARE NOT CAPABLE OF BEING 100% trust worthy, UNCONDITIONALLY LOVING or lovable and honoring of boundaries. Conflict and messes are inevitable, the most important part is how easily you can come back into love and connection after a bump in the road, or an epic fracture or rupture.

You and your people WILL FAIL at trust unconditional love, boundaries and navigating conflicts. Don’t buy into the “happily ever after myth,” it simply does not exist.

Just like sometimes you don’t love or even like yourself the same will be true in your closest relationships… that’s the real talk. If you can be with that truth, not fight it, not expect the impossible you will have more fun in navigating the challenges of human love and relationships with play, curiosity and creativity…. Oh it seems there’s a profound connection to what we’re talking about today.

When a child is safe, loved and respected they are honest, open and more able to go with the flow of getting hurt or misunderstood or not getting what they want.

This is the intention in your adult relationships too.

The reality is is dysfunctional relationships and abusive communication is GLORIFIED in our culture so most people have no idea what a healthy secure relationship even looks or feels like.

The only forever relationship in this life is with yourself and your self-trust, self-love, self-respect and self-talk are the framework that gets repeated in ALL YOUR OTHER RELATIONSHIPS.

So the point is to start there. Work on you in your relationship with yourself? Clear that first

While co-regulating with others is an essential part of healing and healthy relationships if you don’t trust, love or respect yourself you are literally not capable of that in your relationships with others.

If you have a parent, partner or child that is involved in your healing journey you can open transformational conversation to clear the past. I will post a resource in the show notes to navigate conflicts with compassionate communication.

Trust, love, safety, respect and accountability are the golden keys to healthy and secure relationships with yourself and others and are deeply healing especially for anyone that has suffered childhood trauma, abandonment or abuse.

This episode has been a LOT of intensity please take good care of yourself by drinking water, breathing deeply, going for a walk and asking for support if topic has brought up challenges you need support with.

If you are interested to explore working with me to help you integrate the challenges of your past trauma in order to live as an empowered healer in the present you can visit www.SoulPurposePath.com for more information.

Thank you for being here, it’s a pleasure to walk the soul purpose path with you.

You’re listening to the soul purpose podcast, the lightning path of embodied spiritual awakening with shadow and light integration. Quit people-pleasing reclaim power and create your soul purpose legacy.

You can access the Free Soul Success Journal & meditation and all episodes of the podcast and all the goodies mentioned in this episode at www.soulpurposepodcast.com/6

I believe in you and the magic power of your soul.

For more revolutionary teachings and tools please follow on your favorite podcast app or visit soulpurposepodcast.com. I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.

I am sending you so much love!

#5 Create the Future One Breath at a Time

Your breath is the most powerful healing practice and awakening tool that you have with you at all times, and you are only using it a fraction of its capacity which means you are living at only a fraction of your capacity.

I’m Christel Arcucci, you’re listening to the Soul Purpose Podcast, the lightning path of embodied spiritual awakening with shadow and light integration. Quit people pleasing, reclaim power, and create your soul purpose legacy.

So what does the breath have to do with reclaiming power and embodying soul purpose? 

In order to reclaim power, first you need to move from feeling stressed out, overwhelmed and sabotaging your success into a neutral place, where you can reclaim power. 

Start by taking a slower, gentle and deeper breath…without forcing. 

Feel More. Become more aware, present, and connected to your experience.

Recognize your level of stress and evaluate if you are in a stress response: fight, flight, freeze or please.

De-stress your system in order to reclaim power and take action in living your purpose by actively and consciously incorporating breath practices into your daily life.

Your breath is tool that’s always available, you’re only using a fraction of its power and you can only live a few minutes without breathing. 

How do you move from breathing unconsciously minimally shallow breathing which actually perpetuates keeping you in the stress cycle to more consciously breathing? 

Start with a simple One Breath Meditation practice. 

The beauty of this practice is, it’s only one breath, and you can do it anywhere and any time it’s a gateway that is always available to you.

A secret to creating anchor practices in your life is connecting the practice to an activity that you are already doing. 

You can choose to anchor the One Breath Meditation to anytime you hear a text message arrive, anytime the phone dings with a notification, or anytime your child calls your name. Being able to do the One Breath Meditation when your child calls your name is an advanced practice but if you do it, it will change everything by supporting you to respond instead of react.

Connect the anchor practice of the one breath meditation to a mundane activity that you’re already doing like walking through a doorway, drinking water, standing up, sitting down, washing your hands, or any number of activities that you most often do mindlessly. 

When you first try to integrate this practice it can be helpful to write a sticky note in that location to remind you.

“Before (blank) activity do the OBM.”

Don’t make it more complicated. 

Don’t attempt to start meditating for an hour a day. 

If you struggle with stress and anxiety, trying to make yourself meditate for one hour a day if you’ve never successfully done a practice of meditation consistently is a fast track to creating more stress and reinforcing the failure soundtrack.

One breath meditation is literally only one breath and don’t be fooled into thinking it’s easy, you can still get off track and distracted in that short amount of time.

You need to know, this simple pause, reset and breath practice may be challenging to be fully focused in one full breath, one full inhale, one full exhale. 

Don’t let this be fuel for the Inner Critic soundtrack.

Be playful and kind with yourself in this exploration.

The beauty of it is the one breath meditation practice, is if your mind wanders halfway through the inhale, you can just try again, you can laugh and say, “okay, my mind wandered let’s begin again, slow and deep inhale and focus on my breath slow and complete exhale.” 

And the BOOM your mind wandered again, I didn’t even make it through one breath. 

Here’s the thing this is simple and short practice prime territory for the inner critic to jump in and say mean things, don’t take the bait. If you do start saying mean things to yourself, STOP as soon as you notice.

Do not beat yourself up. If you have a habit of buying into the inner critic that you’re a failure, focus on letting this be an imperfect practice, practice, practice. 

As soon as you notice the inner critic and be like, “thank you for your input and I’m going to start again… over and and over and over as long as you are breathing.

Do not let your inner critic bash your head in. 

Let’s take an example… let’s say that you’re in your home and you open the door and as soon as you open the door, a stranger that you’ve never seen before starts screaming in your face, “you are such a loser! You’re always going to fail. You’re never going to be able to meditate! You’re always stressed out and you’re a terrible person because you can’t even focus for one simple breath.” 

Would you invite them in for tea?
 No, you would not, Not unless you have a humiliation fetish. Most likely would close the door, and you say, “wow, that  person is deranged! 

I want you to have the same boundary with the inner critic soundtrack in your mind…just close the door and you begin again.

Close the door on the inner critic and start again. Focus on one single breath in and one breath out. 

I find further anchoring your attention with words can keep you mind more focused, it’s like giving a fussy baby colorful toy to play with… the child will be transfixed for a period of time.

This practice of using woods as an anchor for your mind’s attention during meditation is called “Japa Meditation” in the yoga tradition and the words you use are called a Mantra.

A simple sentence you can use to focus your attention, “I am focused on one relaxed breath in and one complete breath out.”

I like to say: Soul Body Breath 

Repeating the phrase soul body breath supports me to integrate the soul, the body and the breath together, for me it’s feels like an activation and recode to weave together my body, mind, heart and being into the present moment.

Pick any statement or mantra that resonates with you and you could make a new one up each time to connect your intuition int your present moment experience and don’t make it complicated.

The One Breath Meditation is a Mindfulness practice as well which I find mindfulness practices are a great gateway to seated meditation especially if you struggle with anxiety.

One of my current mindfulness practices is relearning to play piano. I can see the exact moment when I am reading the notes and my mind wanders off because inevitably I make a mistake right then. My intention is to play my chosen piece through 3 times without making a mistake. And guess what, I rarely make it through when I am learning a new song. I almost always mess up when my mind wanders because the practice has not yet become automatic, and I don’t start screaming at myself about how I’m such a loser and I’m always gonna be a failure when it comes to piano I just go okay my mind wandered Let’s try again. Let’s try to stay more focus. Let’s focus on my breath. Yes? Yes! 

Your focus with the one breath meditation is to anchor your attention to integrate the soul, body and the mind into your breath. The breath is most often unconscious since it’s happening needing the think about it. The practice of the soul body breath is the simplest way to bring your unconscious power into conscious awareness so you can direct your power into the purpose you desire to create in your life and business.

One breath meditation into an activity that you always do like for just one breath. Notice the saboteur sound track might kick in an attempt to keep you safe in the known space of unconscious action. Don’t take the bait. 

The greatest power of this practice is to do just one breath many many many many times throughout the day. 

For example before I sign into a social media platform, or check my email I breathe first. 

I check in. 

I STOP and ask myself, “am I logging for a distraction from feeling? or to connect or contribute: love, truth, kindness or beauty?

I often find myself unconsciously logging into to social media to procrastinate or because I feel lonely = which of course it a bad plan.

Instead I center myself and breathe and say in my mind or out loud, “soul body breath.” 

I become present with myself and then I am in a more powerful place to post of connect. And if I was seeking distraction I’m less lonely and I can make a conscious choice to do something else that will bring my power back into my body mind. 

Your practice for today is to weave in one breath meditation as an anchor practice to support you to transform your unconscious actions to empowered and embodied choices to create your purpose with power and pleasure.

Even if you already have a seated meditation practice I encourage you to also practice the one breath meditation, and see how deeply you can go and instantly be centered, focused and aligned.

If you’ve struggled with trying to create a consistent meditation practice or you’re feeling extremely stressed with what’s happening in the world right now…. I really encourage you to only work with one breath at a time. 

Success creates more success.

And failure is often the trap door that opens into the failure spiral…and going down down down into the self sabotage, self destructive and maybe even self-loathing soundtracks. I encourage you, DO NOT TO GO THERE. Don’t do it my dear.

When you succeed one breath at a time, you will feel successful, and you will build on the feeling of success. Then you may move on to feeling accomplished and you’ll know you can build your life One Breath at a time.

It’s incredible powerful and magic and so easily over looked because it so basic. 

Feeling good will happen more often when you de-stress your system and reclaim our power. 

You will speak up. 

You will connect. 

You will share your truth.

You will create your bold vision be part of the change that needs to happen in the world right now. 

Thank you for being here, it’s a pleasure to walk the soul purpose path with you. 

You’re listening to the soul purpose podcast, the lightning path of embodied spiritual awakening with shadow and light integration. Quit people-pleasing reclaim power and create your soul purpose legacy.

You can access the Free Soul Success Journal & meditation and all episodes of the podcast and all the goodies mentioned in this episode at soulpurposepractice.com

I believe in you and the magic power of your soul. 

For more revolutionary teachings and tools please follow on your favorite podcast app or visit soulpurposepodcast.com. I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.

I am sending you so much love!